I hate myself.

you know what!? I am absolutely comepletely serious now. I hate myself. really I do. I absolutely serious about this right now. I want to loose 15 pounds this month. the month of november. I am going shopping in 2 weeks so I should have lost at least 7 pounds by then. I am going to do it. I am 100% serious. I am tired of being fat & ugly. I want to be skinny and pretty. I want to be a size 0 and not a size 1. when I go shopping next, I want to buy a size 1 SLIM SKINNY jean. only skinny people are meant to wear skinny jeans. I am going to do this. I am going to do whatever I have to. walk home everyday. take my adderal during the day and after school. but, you know not eating anything doesnt work, I am going to eat an apple a day. that's it. nothing else. & you know what I read? drinking a glass of ice cold water every hour makes you feel full. I am going to do that everyday when I get home. & during school I am going to take a water bottle to school and take a sip of it at the end and beginning of every class. I want to be thin. I want to be gorgous.