A bit about me: ♥
Thursday, May 27, 2010
So, a little while ago this guy kept on asking me questions on formspring saying that I was cute & that he always saw me in the halways.. but never says hi because I seem unaproachable since he's "shy". well, I kept on asking who it was.. & he sent me a question with his username on it saying who he was. Turns out.. it's one of the most popular guys at school. A lot of my friends used to talk about him saying he was hot.. & one of my friends actually stayed after school and watched him run around the track with one of her friends. I was all like "um.. that's creepy. I wouldn't mention that again if I were you.." Ha, so.. yeah I heard of him and yeah. I honestly don't think he is THAT cute. He isn't really my type. I like mediteranean guys.. and he looks like taylor laughtner. So, I guess he has a rep of being a major flirt.. and being a complete jerk. Well, the first day we actually talked in person.. was at the end of gym class. I was wearing a skirt.. and he pciked me up & hugged me.. and like my skirt flew up when he spun me & anyone staring at us (which a lot of people were) pretty much saw my brand new victoria secret underwear. lol, greaaatt. My face turned beat red.. & he had no idea why until I told him later on. He flirts in like a joking way.. but it is also rude.. even though I know he is joking. I still don't like it. Like, he will hold my hand in the hallway.. & then let go immediately and like push me away towards my next class. Today, I was in gym class.. and like dying so I was taking a break.. and he came in and looked at me.. and walked out. & after gym class.. we were standing together.. & he was sweating from gym. I wasn't but felt like I was.. and I was all like, "I'm dying.. it's so hot." & he was all like, "yeah, it's because you're fat and out of shape." I was all like, "thanksss..." & all of his friends were all like, "wow, dillin... you're nice.." & then he poked my stomache.. and was all like, "it's like poking a beany bag." I laughed and then we went to our next class. when I went home.. I went on an hour run. I know he was kidding.. but still. I'm kinda pissed. tomorrow I'm planning on giving him the cold shoulder.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
So, since last year.. so many people have been trying to get me to join cheerleading. Some of their reasons are because I have that "cheerleader look". wtf is that? ha! Some peoples reaons are because I would love it. Some have their reasons mentioning my 11 years of dance experience. I finaly gave in last night! My friend wouldn't stop talking to me about it. So, I just gave in.
It took nearly two years for my to try out.. so hopefully they can shut up now. I am kind of really excited, though. I mean.. I haven't danced in like 2 years.. so hopefully I don't completely suck. It burns major calories too! But, when I was dancing.. my legs got so muscular.. I HATED IT! hopefully they don't start to this time :-/
Practices are only 2-3 times a week.. so I don't know. But my friend paige is on the team.. so we are going to like all like practices together & everything. If I make it.. I'll post a picture of me with my uniform on :)
Anyways, today I am going to six flags with my friend paige :)
Hopefully I'll get tan and do A LOT of walking! :)
I barely ate anything.. except for yesterday I had a major binge.
Starting fresh today :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
So, today we got out early because of senior presenations for senior project. we got out around 10 I think. the guy I've been talking to since christmas vacation who has a girlfriend of two years gave me a ride home. we hung out for a few hours. after he left I went over my friend paige's & we went on a frieken two hour walk. I got a little tan out of it. AND I was feelin greaat.. until I came home.. and like binged the crap outta myself. so, I barely ate a thing for a few days.. and it would have been 3 if I hadn't binged tonight. why cant I ever make it past the 3rd day!? well, I am starting FRESH tomorrow. oh, & my teachers signed me up for kettle bells in gym class.. which is like working out to the extreme. the first day was horrible.. and today I could barely move my arms. my legs are fine. it's my legs & ass. I could barely sit down or walk. when someone gave me a hug I like flipped out.. & then one of my friends forgot and slapped my shoulder.. and I nearly died! well, me & paige got some peace tea.. which is the picture above. it's great for a treat everyoneinawhile. it's 150 calories in the whole bottle. I took that picture above, btw.. so yeah, starting freshh tomorrow. I want to look amazing & tan when I come back to school monday. it's supposed to be 85 next week! fml, right? since I have like no shorts.. lol.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
So, NOT eating anything... yeah I would die. Not in a legit way.. just because I would be more likely to break out in a binge.
So, I was eating Ramen last night(130) and I was thinking..
I only really like the packet stuff.
So, I am going to eat ONE ramen packet a day.
I am going to take the packet for breakfast.. and eat the flavor in a bowl so it's like soup.
the, when I get home I am going to have the noodles & my strawberry smoothie.
I can alternate between those.
I hope my mom isn't reading this. She said she was going to do a "check" in the computer because she can tell if I sent an IM. well, I haven't. I have been listening to music on facebook, writing here, and working on my career development thing.
It feels so late in the day.. but it's only 2:12. greaat. I know I'm going to sleep WELL tonight!
I am weighing myself friday. every friday. I reaaally want this to work!
Okay, so this weekend has been VERY binging. thursday I weighed myself & I weighed 108. Right now I probably weigh 1fucking12! fucking hell! OH, AND I WOKE up today with about 6 pimples on my face. SIX! it's NOT cute! I have to go out in PUBLIC today! aghhh. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO! Tomorrow I have school! To see TWO guys that I am TALKING to! ugh, and 4 of the pimples are on my fucking NOSE! I am going to put some make-up and coverup on when I go out... like pile it on... but like, when I get home... I am jumping in a freezing cold shower & washing that shit off! I'M PISSED! really, this is probably the most pimples I have EVER had in my life! ugh, I need my adderal back! I feel so lost without it! but I can't take it until tuesday! TUESDAY! fucking hell. OH, AND I REFUSE TO EAT UNTIL THEN TOO! I am sosososo FAT! I can feel the fat on me when I move. It's DISGUSTING!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
So, I think that I am going to start putting ONE thinspiration picture in each blog thingy that I do.. just for the readers :)
So, about my week. My week was pretty boring. I felt disgusting the whole week. Yesterday & today I do the most. YESTERDAY I had a huuugeee binge. omg. my NORMAL friend was all like, "you're like bindge eating right now." That shut my mouth for the rest of the night.
Later that night.. we went down to the rocks near pawtuxet village. What it is, is that there are these rocks that you walk on across the water... and it is soo long. we burned about 400 calories with all the hiking and everything. It was soooo pretty there. I can't wait to get my camera & take pictures :)
I am going to eat as little as possible! I will start monday since I can't even get my adderal subscription filled until then :-/
fml, right? So, tomorrow I am going to have to like looaddd up on the diet coke & yeah..I want to NOT eat ANYTHING tomorrow. Well, I think that I will eat 250 calories a day. like, 83 calories a meal. I can do that, somehow. I can blend everything.
I know how to make YUMMY 60 calorie smoothie.
I'll list how :)
60 calorie strawberry smoothie:
- 10 strawberries (each strawberry has only 4 calories!)
- 3 packets of the splenda with 1 gram of fiber calorie free + 1 gram fiber :)
- 6-10 ice cubes (0 cals, duh)
- 1/2 cup of LIGHT cranberry juice (you can barely taste it, it just adds to making you more full.. & about 20 cals)
so, just blend everything together as much as you choose & there's your smoothie. you can eat ALL of it, even though it looks like a lot... and you'll only have eaten 60 calories.
So, here is your 60 calorie smoothie with 3 grams of fiber :)
Okay, so I got a letter in the mail.. and it said that if I don't pass physics & algebra... then I won't pass the ninth grade! OMG right?! AGH! I need to get focuesed! Another reason to take my adderal!
I have a new goal.
My goal is simple: EAT AT LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!
I have a new goal.
My goal is simple: EAT AT LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!